cigarettes

I know it's wrong, I know it's bad for me. But still I smoke - the reason being that I'm addicted. I buy cigarattetes and I know how expensive it is - believe me, I know how much money I put into it! But I just love it... I love the feel of it, I love the thought of how I think I look with a fag, I love not-giving-a-damn, I love being part of a small club of fellow smokers... and I'm bloody addicted. There's all sorts of chemicals involved - and they're SOO bad for you, I know - but still I'm freaking addicted!

Well, I've got a sister who "doesn't smoke" but she sort of does, anyway - so whenever I'm invited over I bring lot's of cigarettes. Tonight I didn't have lots of cigarettes, and no time to go out and buy an extra packet, so I took out three of the one packet I had "to save for later"... And by the time I got home I'd forgotten where I'd put those 3 extras. I'm frantic by now. I've checked all the places where I could've possibly put them. I've checked all the places where I definitly did NOT put them. For crying out loud - I even checked the freaking freezer. And I just can't remember, and it's hell.

Just don't start to smoke - it's so undignified turning your own home upside-down looking for cigarettes you hid from yourself!